Hello internet, how are you?
I feel like I've been on one of the worst roller coaster rides in my life - Sick and dizzy. No drugs or fast -moving carts on a track necessary.the past few months have been getting more and more difficult for me. The worst part is that it's not just any one specific thing. The problem with that is that it's making me more irritable in a general sense and that's only helping to stress out the people around me that I care about. It's hard to explain since some of the details vary depending on who you talk to, but a lot of it deals with a world that's outside of my ability to control it. Whether it's me missing the one I love - 200 miles away; Watching some of the relationships between other friends crumble; My mother's dangerous situation at work; My website was destroyed and is unrecoverable; or just the fact that this particular season change can sometimes heavily bring me down - I can't really say. Since it's more than likely a combination of all that and more it get fairly frustrating... I'm sure most of you who know me tend to see the "happier side" of me and especially since I seemed to be OK last year around this time. I kinda was - but not fully - I've gotten good at either ignoring or hiding the random depression thing. But it helped that last year thing were still new and I had enough interaction to distract myself. Right now it just feels like the shit is overtaking the distraction and that puts me in a pretty bad position. The worst part is that so many other people are going through rough shit at the moment I feel like I have no outlet or no-one to talk to. I know a lot of friends have told me I can always talk to them and stuff - but most of them are dealing with their own version of this that I can't bring myself to bother them with my plate of steaming fresh "crazy" on top of it. That's actually the only reason I'm writing this entry - no to cry about my life in particular or get sympathy, etc - it's kinda just an outlet. I stopped doing depressed entries like this quite some time ago because there was never a good reaction to them and people tended to only notice the "bad" entries. Either way - all I can really do is stick with what I have - It's gotta get better eventually - right?
I found a really good blog post on a blog I read that is normally a comedy blog - this entry is one of the few serious entries but there's a lot I can relate to and understand in it. I wanted to share it with everyone because I KNOW I'm not the only one out there feeling this crazy. I suggest most of you guys give the entry a read - but ALSO read her other stuff, cuz it's funny as HELL!
About depression and mental instability - [link]
A good starting place for her funny stuff (Which is almost everything on the blog! - [link]
Here's to things getting better,
-=Justin=-